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You should address problems one-on-one

기사승인 2017.12.07  11:49:11

공유
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When children face a problem, most of them would run to their parents or teachers first. When they get into a fight at school, their teachers and sometimes also their parents get involved. Their youth and lack of experience allow them the luxury of having a third person, usually an adult, help them out with the big and small bumps in life.
However, as people move from childhood to adolescence and from adolescence to adulthood, they are required to deal with their problems one-on-one. There are no more backs of responsible grown-ups to hide behind when trouble comes along. Now, you have to be that responsible grown-up yourself. Instead of relying on a third person to somehow wrap up nicely whatever mess life throws at you, it becomes your job to face head-on the situation or person that causes you distress.
Say, for example, that you are not happy with a decision made by a co-worker. The easiest way to deal with the situation may be to have a good gossip behind his or her back, and get on with your life. However, although you may have successfully blown off steam, the fundamental source of your distress remains unchanged. The ideal and most effective choice would be to directly face the co-worker in question, explain why you feel so uncomfortable with the decision he or she has made, and suggest a better solution than what that person has come up with. If for some reason a face-to-face talk is not possible, you could send an anonymous written complaint.
The third option is the least recommended one, in that it may cause problems rather than solve them. When you are desperate to alert the co-worker of your discomfort, but not brave enough to confront them in person, you could turn to a third party. An influential friend could act as an intermediary and pass on your words. This is risky, as you can never know for sure if they intermediary exaggerated or toned down your words according to how he or she understood the situation. Words could be added, taken away, distorted. The person hearing those words will accept them as yours, no matter how far they may be from their original version.
This is why you should never let someone else speak for you, unless it is absolutely necessary. You are an adult who can and should address problems one-on-one, without dragging in a third person who was never directly involved in the situation. As another school year draws to an end, Ewha Voice urges its readers to mature not only in body but in mind as well. We should all be responsible grown-ups that face distressing situations head-on.

Ewha Voice evoice@ewha.ac.kr

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